Just keep swimming...

As I prepare my mind to head back for week two of Summer Intensive (and they meant Intensive), I look back and realize that each and every day of the past week I came here with the intention of making sense of everything we were doing and learning.  Then I would look at this blank page and realize how truly overwhelmed I am; how exactly does one portray the image of their brain near capacity for blowing up?

So, here I sat every night looking at this page, changing the post's title to match what day it was or what I was thinking of saying for that day, and nothing would separate enough from the jumbled mess to become a coherent thought.

Quick Recap of the week:

• Monday was held at Team Quest Experiential Camp where we did a lot of fun team building activities that made us think of who we really are and how we really relate to people.  This was my second time at Team Quest, and while I still didn't do the challenge course for my crazy fear of heights, I actually wish I had done it, which is so different than how I felt the last time that I'll call it a win.
  
• Tuesday was our first day in the classroom together and began with nearly 2 hours of introductions.  We completed the day thinking about and sharing why we want to be a principal.  Still not too bad of a day for me but rather a clear realization that I am here and this adventure is starting.
  
• Wednesday proved to be the breaking point for quite a few people, as we were asked to share our struggles and celebrations at the beginning of class.  There were tears all around the room, and all I kept thinking was "If this is only the beginning of day 3, what is day 13 going to look like?"  Then I got a glimpse as the whirlwind of overviews of Standards 1, 2, 4 and 7 got throw at us at maximum speed in between activities to help us develop our own vision statements and core beliefs and values.  By 11:30 Wednesday night, as I finished my first homework assignment, I already couldn't keep things straight.

• Thursday just seemed like a flood of information from the very start.  We began with an activity on Time Management to see whether our impression of how our time will be taken up now is the same as our reality/observation at the end of the internship, and then we dove head first into School Law.  Man, there are so many cases that have set precedents for what we do everyday.  While looking at some of these cases I couldn't help but think how so many of those administrative decisions seem to me like they should've been common sense, but then I begin to wonder if it only seems that way because I didn't live in the world before they were made.  One of the most profound things we were told was to not judge those in a position we have never had, and so I'm trying to keep that in mind when I think about the decisions being made or that have been made.  It's so easy to say "should've...could've...would've" without actually being in the situation to do it.  Then we finished the day listening to a panel of principals talking about how to create and implement a vision.  They shared so many great things, but again I walked out to my car feeling like I was drowning in this sea of information.
  
• Friday seemed like the busiest of the 4 in-class days, and yet it went the most quickly.  We got to meet with two panels of members from PTLA Cohorts 1 & 2 to talk about what being in PTLA is really like and what to expect in this summer intensive as well as the internship and after graduation.  I will admit that the more they talked about relationship, and it was mentioned repeatedly, the more nervous and unsure I became.  I have such a hard time with the idea of having a plan for building personal relationships with people, as I've always just let them happen or not happen naturally.  Then one of them said, "Relationships are key the changing a school, but they have to be based on professional things."  I can handle that.  I know that I will have to step outside of my comfort zone much more with getting to know people and networking, but I feel better about the process knowing I can focus on the professional aspects of the relationship while I get to know people personally.  This was also the day we did our first presentation of the year--an PowerPoint introducing ourselves to our internship staff that explains who we are, why we are there, and what we bring to the table.  I rarely have a problem presenting, but the creation of that slide show was a bit difficult for some reason, probably because I think it matters now that people get to know me.
  

I really was not prepared for the intensity of this first week; it's certainly not like any courses or trainings that I've participated in before, and I left Friday completely mentally exhausted.  Now that I've had time to let things sit and reflect on all that was thrown at us, I realize that I'm still excited to be doing this.  I have worked with some awesome people throughout my career, but like I said during our reflection time on Wednesday morning, I have never before been in a room with a group of people and not thought "Why are you here?" of at least one of them.  I don't know about the previous 2 cohorts, but this group is pretty amazing, and I can't wait to see where each of us grow to.  So, I'm walking into week 2 tomorrow with a little better understanding of what to expect and the determination to...